When the Pursuit of “More” Quietly Erodes How We Treat Each Other

Walk into a supermarket, scroll through social media, sit in traffic, or read the comments section of almost any online post, and you’ll likely notice something unsettling: people seem more impatient, more reactive, more dismissive, and sometimes outright hostile.

Incivility—subtle or overt—is rising.

It shows up as:

• Snapping at strangers
• Ignoring others’ needs
• Online aggression
• Workplace rudeness
• A general erosion of empathy

And while it’s tempting to blame individuals (“people are just rude these days”), a deeper question sits beneath the surface:

What if incivility isn’t just a personal failing—but a systemic by-product of the way we live?

More specifically:

Is capitalism—our dominant economic system—quietly shaping a culture that makes incivility more likely?

This is not a simplistic argument that “capitalism is bad.” Capitalism has driven innovation, lifted millions out of poverty, and created opportunities unimaginable in previous eras.

But like any powerful system, it also has psychological side effects.

And some of those effects may be quietly undermining how we relate to one another.

What Do We Mean by Incivility?

Incivility is not just overt aggression.

It is often subtle, everyday behaviour that signals disregard for others.

Examples include:

• Interrupting or talking over someone
• Dismissing someone’s feelings
• Passive-aggressive communication
• Lack of basic courtesy
• Ignoring social norms of respect

Psychologically, incivility often stems from:

• Reduced empathy
• Heightened stress
• Self-focus over other-focus
• Emotional dysregulation

So the real question becomes:

What conditions make people more likely to behave this way?

Capitalism and the “Achievement Mindset”

At its core, capitalism rewards:

• Productivity
• Competition
• Efficiency
• Growth
• Individual success

On the surface, these are not negative values.

But when they become dominant cultural drivers, they shape how people think, feel, and behave.

We begin to internalise messages such as:

• “Your worth is tied to what you produce”
• “Time is money—don’t waste it”
• “You need to get ahead”
• “Success is comparative”

This creates what psychologists might call an “achievement-based identity.”

Instead of being valued for who we are, we are valued for:

• What we achieve
• What we earn
• How we compare

And this has consequences.

The Psychological Cost of Constant Competition

Human beings are social creatures—but capitalism places us in constant, often invisible competition.

We compete for:

• Jobs
• Promotions
• Status
• Attention
• Validation

Even socially, competition is embedded through:

• Social media comparisons
• Lifestyle signalling
• Achievement culture

Research in social psychology shows that competitive environments reduce prosocial behaviour—people become less cooperative and less empathetic.

Why?

Because attention shifts inward.

When your mental bandwidth is consumed by:

• “Am I doing well enough?”
• “How do I compare?”
• “What do I need to do next?”

…there is less space for:

• Noticing others’ needs
• Responding with patience
• Acting with kindness

Incivility, then, becomes less about intention—and more about cognitive overload.

Time Pressure: The Silent Driver of Rudeness

One of the most powerful but overlooked effects of capitalism is time scarcity.

In modern life:

• Time is monetised
• Productivity is prioritised
• Busyness is glorified

People often feel:

• Rushed
• Overwhelmed
• Chronically behind

And when humans feel time pressure, something predictable happens:

They become less patient and more self-focused.

Studies have shown that when people are in a hurry, they are significantly less likely to help others—even in obvious situations of need.

This isn’t because they are bad people.

It’s because their nervous system is in a state of urgency.

And urgency narrows attention.

When attention narrows, empathy shrinks.

The Rise of Transactional Relationships

Capitalism encourages a subtle but profound shift:

Relationships become transactional.

We begin to unconsciously evaluate interactions in terms of:

• Value
• Utility
• Efficiency

Questions like:

• “What can I get from this?”
• “Is this worth my time?”
• “How does this benefit me?”

…start to replace:

• “How is this person feeling?”
• “How can I connect?”

This shift can erode genuine human connection.

And when people feel like “means to an end” rather than valued individuals, incivility becomes more likely.

Emotional Depletion and Burnout

Another key mechanism is burnout.

High-pressure environments, long working hours, and constant demands can lead to:

• Emotional exhaustion
• Reduced patience
• Increased irritability

From a psychological perspective, burnout reduces what we might call “emotional bandwidth.”

When your internal resources are depleted:

• You have less tolerance
• You react more quickly
• You struggle to regulate emotions

This is why even kind, well-intentioned people can become:

• Short-tempered
• Dismissive
• Less compassionate

Incivility, in this sense, is often a symptom of depletion.

Consumer Culture and the Self

Capitalism doesn’t just shape how we work—it shapes how we see ourselves.

We live in a culture that constantly signals:

• You need more
• You are not enough yet
• Happiness is just one purchase away

This fosters what psychologists call a “deficit mindset.”

Instead of feeling secure, people feel:

• Inadequate
• Driven to prove themselves
• Focused on self-improvement as a necessity

This can lead to:

• Increased self-focus
• Reduced attention to others
• Lower empathy

When people are preoccupied with their own perceived shortcomings, they have less capacity to attune to others.

Social Media: Capitalism Amplified

If capitalism is the engine, social media is the amplifier.

Platforms are designed to:

• Capture attention
• Encourage comparison
• Reward visibility

This creates:

• Status anxiety
• Performative behaviour
• Increased judgement

Online environments also reduce accountability, making incivility more likely.

People say things online they would never say face-to-face.

But this is not just about anonymity.

It’s about dehumanisation.

When others become avatars rather than people, empathy drops.

Inequality and Psychological Threat

Capitalist systems often produce inequality.

And inequality has psychological consequences.

When people feel:

• Economically insecure
• Socially disadvantaged
• Threatened in their status

They are more likely to experience:

• Anxiety
• Anger
• Defensiveness

These emotions can manifest as incivility.

Research suggests that societies with higher inequality often experience:

• Lower trust
• Reduced social cohesion
• Increased hostility

In this context, incivility is not random—it is a response to perceived threat.

The “Hustle Culture” Trap

“Hustle culture” is one of the clearest expressions of modern capitalism.

It promotes:

• Constant productivity
• Side hustles
• Relentless self-optimisation

The message is clear:

Rest is laziness. Slowing down is failure.

But this creates a psychological paradox.

The more people push themselves:

• The more depleted they become
• The less emotionally available they are
• The more reactive they become

In other words:

The pursuit of success can undermine the very qualities that make relationships work.

Is Capitalism the Cause—or a Contributing Factor?

It’s important to be balanced.

Capitalism is not the sole cause of incivility.

Other factors include:

• Personality differences
• Cultural norms
• Technology use
• Stress unrelated to economic systems

However, capitalism creates conditions that make incivility more likely:

• Time pressure
• Competition
• Inequality
• Self-focus
• Emotional depletion

It’s not that capitalism makes people rude.

It’s that it shapes an environment where rudeness is easier—and kindness requires more effort.

The Hidden Cost: Loss of Human Connection

Perhaps the greatest cost is not incivility itself—but what it replaces.

When incivility rises, we lose:

• Warmth
• Trust
• Spontaneous kindness
• A sense of community

And this has a feedback effect.

When people experience incivility:

• They become more guarded
• Less trusting
• More likely to respond in kind

Incivility spreads.

Not because people want it—but because it becomes normalised.

What Can We Do About It?

If the system contributes to incivility, does that mean we are powerless?

Not at all.

While we may not control the system, we can influence how we respond within it.

1. Slow Down Where You Can

Even small pauses matter.

Taking a moment before reacting can:

• Reduce impulsivity
• Increase empathy
• Improve communication

2. Rehumanise Others

Actively remind yourself:

• This person has a life, struggles, and emotions

This simple shift can transform interactions.

3. Challenge Transactional Thinking

Instead of asking:

• “What do I get from this?”

Try:

• “How can I show up well here?”

4. Protect Your Emotional Bandwidth

Prioritise:

• Rest
• Boundaries
• Self-care

A regulated nervous system is far more capable of kindness.

5. Practise Small Acts of Civility

These include:

• Saying thank you
• Making eye contact
• Letting someone go ahead
• Listening without interrupting

Small acts create ripple effects.

A Psychological Reframe

Instead of seeing incivility as a moral failure, we can view it as:

A signal.

A signal that:

• People are overwhelmed
• Systems are demanding
• Emotional resources are depleted

This doesn’t excuse behaviour.

But it helps us respond with understanding rather than escalation.

Final Thoughts

Capitalism has given us many things:

• Innovation
• Opportunity
• Choice

But it has also shaped a culture that often prioritises:

• Speed over presence
• Achievement over connection
• Productivity over wellbeing

And in doing so, it may be quietly eroding the fabric of everyday kindness.

Incivility is not just about manners.

It is about how we see each other.

Are we competitors—or fellow humans?

Are we obstacles—or individuals with inner worlds as complex as our own?

The answer to those questions may determine not just how we behave—but the kind of society we create.

Closing Reflection

In a system that constantly pushes you to move faster, do more, and be more…

Choosing to be patient, kind, and present is not weakness.

It is quiet resistance.

And perhaps, the most human thing we can do.