I wonder if you have ever thought about how you’re actually pretty cool. Not many people think of themselves in these terms. Here’s some food for thought. I hope it will change the way you see yourself in a good way:
You are meant to be here
Do you know what the probability of being born is? Scientists estimate the probability of your being born at about one in 400 trillion. The Buddhist version of the probability is explained in this analogy:
Imagine there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean, with exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you came about is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water — into the middle of that life preserver. On one try.
There could have been so many possibilities but you are here. Your version won the race…that stands for something.
You survived being born
Otto Rank (1924) wrote that all human beings suffer trauma by virtue of being born and of the inevitable, violent, physical and psychic separation we suffer at birth from our mother. Rank believed that the physical event of birth, where the infant moves from a state of perfect harmony and union with the mother into a painful state of separation resulting from the traumatic and violent circumstances of birth, constitutes the earliest anxiety that a human being experiences.
Being born is a shock to the system, a traumatic experience but you survived and here you are to tell the tale.
You have coped with stress and difficult situations
Life is often stressful and there is so much that is beyond our control. Despite this, you have somehow managed to cope and get through it. You are still here today… coping. Even if you don’t think you are coping – you are. You are living life and coping just like the rest of us. And that deserves a big pat on the back and a healthy acknowledgment of your resilience!
We often tell ourselves we won’t cope or can’t cope but yet we somehow do. Even if you have a blip and end up on the floor curled into a little ball, if you get up off the floor at a later stage – that takes courage. Maybe, just maybe, you are stronger than you know?
You have coped with failure and rejection
I think we can all remember a time when we were heartbroken or felt a failure. It’s no fun at all and the emotions can be so unpleasant that we will do almost anything to escape them. Hard times seem ubiquitous but the human spirit pulls through – you should be proud of yourself for surviving and getting through. Stop and congratulate yourself. You probably don’t do this often enough but it’s so good to give yourself a hug. Literally or hypothetically!
Touch, even your own touch, helps promote relaxation since it lowers levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. Sure, a hug won’t solve your problems entirely, but it can help relieve some of your tension and stress.
You’re still showing kindness despite your own issues
If you can still show kindness despite your own emotional suffering – you are actually pretty cool. Thinking beyond yourself and spreading goodwill is amazing. Another self hug is in order!
It’s easier to become mean and self-serving as we see it so often. When you decide to be kind in spite of the cruelty that exists and your own hardships and injustices that you have experienced, you are an enlightened individual. Be proud of yourself. And thank you too for being a wonderful compassionate human being.
You’re learning from your mistakes
Failure is a part of life and I believe it teaches us. If you have learned from past mistakes you are doing well. Keep a sense of humour and maintain perspective. It’s not true that others have perfect lives and I know because I am a counsellor. I see people daily that seem to have it all together but fall apart in our therapy sessions. We are all in this together and when we remember this we can be more compassionate towards others. Reject those angry thoughts that push others away from you. It’s normal to want to put barriers up to protect yourself but the barriers can have the added unwanted effect of leaving you feeling lonely and misunderstood. Wade into the messiness of life.
Keep making mistakes – it shows you are living life and that you are trying. Well done.
When you really think about it – you have a lot to like about yourself. Maybe you never thought about it in this way before but i hope that now you see that you are actually pretty cool.
Mandy X
Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash
Sources/References:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/probability-being-born_b_877853?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAIHfrBmzZTgCIYmn-1tqiliVgmLEgc_vAM6b-CRIgnWRov9Sh6OhXwk66iDepz5SoDOKMuPFxEWOGRXz7lVoJJuTYmQ1FuALnMbUqenLhRAa9styAnfqDcle1IM4Cs3ZdsJVs736fawxdiE44CR6sNZe4249rKqi0hGlTsycxSg5
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-trauma-addiction-connection/201109/are-we-born-trauma
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
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