Self Improvement

Mandy Kloppers

Why it’s no good to stay in an unsuitable relationship

Unsuitable relationships

Let’s clarify what an unsuitable relationship is. Relationships sit on a continuum with truly awful relationships at one end and perfectly satisfying relationships at the other. This post refers mainly to relationships where there is abuse.

There are many reasons that people stay in relationships-many of these reasons do not make sense yet we justify our behaviour in order to cope with staying. Most people stay in an unsuitable relationship out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being lonely and fear of never finding someone else again. This limited thinking creates a limiting life.

We take on limiting self beliefs in order to cope with our dismal relationships. We tell ourselves that things will improve, that we could never make it on our own or end up believing that we are somehow worthy and deserving of the bad treatment we are receiving.

Staying in an unsuitable relationship is like feeding yourself poison everyday. When you’re made to feel inadequate and inferior, it chips away and erodes your confidence and your self-esteem. I have been in relationships where I have become a shell of my former self. I began to believe all the criticism and felt powerless to change anything. The longer I stayed the more powerless and helpless I felt. An unsuitable relationship reminds you on a daily basis that you are living a life below what you deserve. Everyone is entitled to feel loved, worthy and supported. Abuse in relationships is wide spread. I compare it to an iceberg-the part that sticks out is the part that the public sees that the majority of abuse goes unnoticed. More often than not, abusers are affable and extremely popular with friends, family and colleagues.

The truth is however very different. Abusers are cowards and they take out their daily frustrations on their loved ones. So much abuse goes on behind closed doors and most of it is hidden because of the pressure we face to show a happy and united front to the world.

Do not live a lie. Remind yourself what you are worth what you really deserve and make the necessary changes to achieve your true potential.

There is a fantastic charity in my area called Your Sanctuary. Helpline: 01483 766822

Website: Your Sanctuary

There is also another charity nationwide: Women’s Aid

Take your power back. It is possible to do as I have done it-it’s not easy but it can be done. Believing yourself and expect better for yourself.

Mandy X

Photo by pissedoffpatriot007