Emotional Wellbeing

Life

Self Improvement

Mandy Kloppers

What I’d tell my younger self…

1) Believe in yourself more

I always believed that others knew more than me, had more informed opinions than me and generally just had everything ‘more’ than me. What I have realised is that this isn’t true and that some people are just better at bluffing than others. Some people find it easy to brag and sell themselves and offer you a mountain when all they really have is a termite mound. Everyone is fallible and everyone has doubts. I see all people as flawed but their strengths and weaknesses. No one is better than you. We all have our virtues. Back yourself 100%. Be your number one fan. If you don’t do it, who will?

2) Happiness is an inside job

It doesn’t matter what the external world has to offer – if your thinking is negative or distorted, your outer world will be a mirror of your thinking. Get into the habit of encouraging positive upbeat thinking and dismissing negative anxious thoughts. What you focus on all day long becomes your reality – make sure it’s good. Money can make life easier and give us more freedom but it doesn’t buy happiness. It’s a cliche but it’s so true.

3) Don’t worry about what others think

When you worry about what others think, you lose focus on what makes you happy and begin living your life for others. This is no good. It’s your life – you have to live it and deal with the consequences, not those that judge you. Ignore them, ignore the noise and the judgements of others and follow your own path..always. Life isn’t linear, we all seem to think we should go to University, get a job, find a partner, have children…but who said? Why do we feel pressure to stick to this agenda? Figure out what works for you and ignore what everyone else is doing.

4) Don’t take life too seriously – keep a sense of humour

Humour has helped me get through very dark times. There are too many serious people in the world chasing the wrong things and engaging in obsessions such as stock markets and making their next ‘buck’. There’s so much more to life and some people forget it. They spend more time in the office than with the important people in their lives and forget how to have fun and have a laugh.

5) Don’t fear failure

Failure stops so many people from trying new things and pushing themselves out of their comfort zones. The more we shrink away from our fears, the more they grow. See life as an adventure and see failure as a way to learn. In fact – failure reminds me that I am still trying and moving forward. To me, that is so much better than being stagnant.

6) Nurture friendships and family relationships

Fantastic people are the glue in life – they give it purpose and meaning. Appreciate those people that are wonderful and limit your time with people that drain you on a regular basis. Live with integrity and don’t gossip. People in retirement homes don’t have pictures up of their degree certificates, cars and houses..they have images up of family, friends and pets. That’s what it boils down to at the end of the day so look after those lovely people in your life.

7) Live more in the moment

We spend far too much time fretting about the past and worrying about the future.This sucks the joy and fun out of the present moment and the present moment is all we really have. Engage in mindfulness – be present in your life, physically mentally and emotionally. Savour every day.

8) Be true to yourself

Express yourself and follow your dreams. Others may try to manipulate you but don’t let them. Be self aware and nurture self love and self awareness. When you know yourself well, you understand what works for you and what doesn’t. When you love yourself, you are less likely to let others treat you badly. This all leads to an increase in happiness and contentment.

Don’t be afraid of life. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? Be brave and go after what you want. If you don’t ask you don’t get. Watch your assumptions as they could be completely incorrect – when in doubt ask the person directly to clear up any ambiguity. Try not to take other people’s actions personally – you have no idea why they act the way they do. Be compassionate and kind and it will be returned to you, maybe not immediately but I believe the Universe takes note of good deeds and that positive energy will find it’s way back to you…

Mandy X