life Mandy Kloppers

What ‘good love’ looks like

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Ever wondered whether you were in a good relationship or a bad one? This post is all about what good love looks like. Love and relationships are unique but there are some universal characteristics that apply to all of us.

How healthy is your relationship? Are you lucky enough to be experiencing good love?

Characteristics of good love

Good love is unconditional

It doesn’t depend on whether you are thin or overweight, smart or shabby chic. Good love is something that appreciates the person, not what they think you could be.

Good love allows you to truly be yourself

Because good love is unconditional – it won’t desert you if you get a pimple on your nose or fall ill. The love is for the unique individual that you are – that can never be replaced. Bollocks I say, to that old saying, “There’s plenty more fish in the sea”. That may be true, but there will never be a fish quite like you.

Good love supports you and encourages you to be the best version of you

Good love isn’t jealous and doesn’t play games. Yep, the good love provider will be like your cheerleader through life..aaaaaah.

Good love isn’t controlling

Sure there might be some influencing going on, we all do that but good love doesn’t tell you what to wear, who you can socialise with or how to behave. Good love comes with built-in trust. Innocent till proven guilty.

When you are in an unhappy relationship, it can seem normal after a while. We get used to the bad behaviour and begin to forget what’s normal. Often, we will excuse behaviour to our detriment. Listen to your instincts. If something feels off, it more than likely is.

We all make mistakes and say the wrong thing now and then. This is completely normal. What you need to be looking out for is a pattern of behaviour. Do they behave selfishly regularly – is it a state or a trait? A state is short lived and inconsistent. A trait is consistent and will persist. You can’t change another person. Remember what you’re worth and know that you deserve good love.

Mandy X

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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