Self Improvement

Mandy Kloppers

What do you really want?



 What do you really want?

I am constantly amazed at how often this questions stumps people. They look at me blankly as I have asked them to explain Pythagorus’s Theory. How can it be that we know so little about ourselves? So many people are completely disconnected and instead of self awareness, they identify with cultural stereotypes and what is expected of them rather than being able to elucidate their own inner workings. If we don’t know ourselves, are we just a planet full of ignorant hollow people going through the motions with very little direction? Are we just plodding through the days, doing a job we hate, staying in a relationship we’re bored with and coping with the daily grind just because that’s what everyone else is doing?

Well, if this is the case there is something seriously wrong with the way we all live life. School teaches us to be the same as everyone else, look the same and conform. This is the beginning of the ‘cloning process’ in my view.

Then we have our parents and significant other placing pressure on us to be not what we were born to be but rather what society expects us to be. It drives me nuts when I see parents trying to mould their children into their own idealised versions of what they want instead of accepting and working with their children’s natural talents and skills.

The media is another culprit that confuses us and makes us believe we need things that we actually don’t really need. We are bombarded constantly with daily messages telling us how we ‘should’ be. Messages such as “buy this washing powder to show what a good mother you are” or “buy this car to show everyone how successful you are” and the worst part is that we buy into this.

Advertising companies play on our emotions to get us to buy their products. All the messages and influences slowly pull us away from our essential selves and it’s no wonder we end up not knowing what we really want or what is really good for us.

In order to gain perspective again, ask yourself these questions:

1) If you had 6 months to live, what would you do for those 6 months regardless of money, circumstances etc?

2) What are you good at? Are you creative or more analytical etc?

3) When did you last feel truly happy and what were you doing?

4) When was the last time you felt an excited buzz and the time flew by?

5) If you knew you couldn’t fail what would you do?

6) If you were completely independent, on your own, with money and freedom at your disposal…what would you do?

7) List your ideal day. What would you do?

The above questions are hypothetical in nature but the answers will hopefully give you an indication of where your natural leanings are. Start to follow your heart more. Each time you make a decision, ask yourself if you really want to do it or if you are doing it to please others and/or because it is expected. Learn to say ‘no’ and learn to be true to yourself.

These are the first steps to finding the real you underneath all the ‘programming’.

Mandy X