Emotional Wellbeing

Inspiration

Mandy Kloppers

Watch your expectations

 

wishing photo

Watch your expectations

One of the biggest sources of misery comes from our expectations. The quickest way to feel powerless and frustrated is to expect things from others – something we have no control over.

We can prefer something but when we expect it we inevitably set ourselves up for disappointment. No one will be able to meet our expectations all the time.

I see so many clients who hope and wish that their partners will change – will become more loving or caring…perhaps more considerate.

Usually, these fundamental characteristics don’t change in a person and this can lead some people to feel that because their expectations are not being met, they are obviously flawed or unloveable.

The truth is rather more simple – it has nothing to do with how loveable we are but it have everything to do with what the other person is capable of offering in a relationship.

Expectations are basically projections of our insecurities. If we feel that we are not loveable we will incorporate this neediness into our expectations – putting the fulfillment of our insecurities into the hands of another…bad idea!

 

Get to the bottom of your expectations of others in your life. Is there more to it? Are you trying to prove that you are  loved/important/valued etc ? If you find this is the case – give this to yourself in other ways.

You don’t need the actions of someone else to prove that you are wonderful and worthy of love, affection and respect. Of course, care and love form others is great but remember that you don’t NEED it to feel that you are worthy.

See the affection of another as a bonus but not an essential requirement for you to believe in yourself.

Mandy X