Mandy Kloppers

Top ideas for good parenting


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Top ideas for good parenting

1) Separate the behaviour from the child

What they did may be disappointing, NEVER – “you are disappointing”. This preserves a child’s self esteem –  a fragile concept that must be protected at all costs.

2) Children are not objects nor possessions

You don’t own your children. Parents have a job to guide their children, not rule them like dictators. They will grow up one day and if you have treated your children without respect, it will backfire on you.

3) Treat children like people

They may be small and they may need supervision but this does not mean they do not deserve respect and normal rights just as any other person. That is – the right to have an opinion and the right to be heard. They also have a right to express emotions even if their parents don’t like it. Suppressing emotions in children will damage their natural emotional development and can cause issues in adulthood.

4) Engage in pro-social modelling

Be a good role model. Children learn by observing those around them Ensure that they are learning positive and constructive ways to deal with life and other people.  Showing tolerance and empathy to others as well as understanding and kindness are great lessons for children.

5) Show appropriate emotion

Don’t conceal real life from children. Consider what is age appropriate, by all means, but let children know what is going on. Children who grow up never seeing their parent cry will be more likely to be inept at dealing with emotions and may end up emotionally unavailable. Seeing their parents have emotions, get stressed, argue (to a degree) and deal with it helps a child learn that these experiences are normal and they also see how their parents deal with it. Life lessons – they prepare children for life when they are older. Don’t shield them from everything as they will be denied many life lessons that may be vital for a rounded and balanced individual.

6) Offer unconditional love and support

A parent’s love should never be dependent on a certain type of behaviour or on getting top marks at school. Children do best when they know they are fundamentally accepted as they are. When there are no conditions to being loved and accepted, it teaches a child that they are inherently valuable. If you can give this to your child, you are ahead of the game.

Mandy X

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