Emotional Wellbeing

Mandy Kloppers

The fear bully

The fear bully resides in all of us. The ever present bully that tells us we can’t do something, that we are too fat, too old, too stupid (etc etc). My fear bully is always there, encouraging self doubt and self criticism. The thing is, we really can get a hold on that pesky inner bully, we do this by choosing not to listen to it.

Sure, it’s going to harrass you, that will never stop but there are effective strategies to shut that bully up and lead a more peaceful life free of this mental torture.

How to deal with your fear bully:

The fear bully plays on your insecurities. It loves to make you fearful and anxious but you can’t let it win. Don’t believe what the fear bully tells you. Everything it tells you is subjective – it is not fact.

This inner enemy only has power if you focus on it and believe what it tells you. If you acknowledge the bully but then go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do anyway, you teach the bully that it’s not in charge. You are in charge!

Go for that job interview, ask that person out, don’t be fearful. The more we avoid what we fear the greater the fear becomes. Fear is subjective, what one person fears may not be the fear of another. This is proof that in most cases, fear is a matter of perception and perceptions can be changed. Looked for the evidence that you fear bully is right – you probably won’t find any because fear is based on our own insecurities and not in reality.

Learn to dismiss the fear bully and go for it anyway – feel the fear and do it anyway. More often than not you will prove to yourself that the fear bully knows nothing and it’s only purpose is to keep you from living a full life and reaching your full potential.

Mandy X

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