Emotional Wellbeing

Mandy Kloppers

The cycle of narcissistic abuse


The narcissist starts off by making you feel like the best thing sliced bread. They reel you in and shower you with love and adoration. As soon as you are ‘hooked’ on them, they feel safe to let their guard down and be more like their natural selves. They are clever at figuring out what you need, and giving it to you. They can’t keep this charade up forever though. If it seems to good to be true, it probably is…sorry! This is when the manipulation begins.

They will keep you in your place by devaluing you. Subtle negative comments to chip away at your confidence. This poisonous relationship affects self esteem and your view of the world. Self doubt creeps in and you can begin to doubt your own sanity.

Narcissists will play with your emotions by leading you to believe that you are easily replaceable, that no one else would love you. Then, once you are devastated, they will start the ‘hoovering process‘. They will send you ‘innocent’ messages checking how you are, they will slowly and tentaively start to win you back.

Ultimately, this cycle will wear a rational, normal person down. Just what the narcissist wants. They lack empathy, for them it isn’t about love, it’s all about getting their own needs met. They want to be adored, they want to feel superior. Often their arrogance is what gets them into trouble because they feel they can outwit others. When they manipulate others into doing what they want, it’s a victory for them. A sign that they are able to control others.

Narcissists are emotional vampires, it’s all about them. They cleverly feign care and empathy but ultimately, it’s all about then getting their way using others to get there.

Mandy X