Emotional Wellbeing


Mandy Kloppers

Signs your wife is going to divorce you


Are you heading for divorce?

I have noticed that the lead up to many divorces takes a specific pattern. I am focusing on the emotional and mental journey that the female goes on in the lead up to divorce. There can be many signs of an impending divorce.

Not enough quality time together

One of the most common reasons for divorce seems to happen when a husband and wife spend less quality time together. Often the husband will work long hours and the wife will feel neglected.

At first the wife will express her dissatisfaction at the situation. Men seem to hear but do not listen. They look for outward signs of unhappiness and do not make the effort to really investigate how their wives feel emotionally. I have seen many husbands bury their heads in the sand and hope the situation will correct itself without any effort.

No more nagging/requests

After a while the wife gets sick and tired of nagging. She does not want to make and dislikes the fact that her repeated attempts have not led to any changes. This is where internal changes begin to occur. A wife will pull back from the marriage and will begin to distance herself emotionally from her husband. Outward appearances will remain the same but there will be a change in her emotional responses. It is almost as if she goes through a grieving process-a realisation that her husband will never change and become the attentive person she had hoped he would be.  The nagging will stop and most men will breathe a sigh of relief when in fact this is the time to really worry. Men place so much emphasis on providing for their families and many think that this is enough to secure a happy marriage. Many husbands mistakenly believe that the external provisions of money and status will satisfy his wife.

Lack of in depth conversations

The truth is that many wives miss the emotional connection with their husbands, it’s all about balance. After months or possibly years of emotional grieving, the wife has ‘checked out’ of the relationship. She will go through the motions and do what is expected of her as a wife (and/or mother) but she will no longer be invested in the relationship and will be looking for a way out.

Lack of sex and more time spent apart

For some women, a way out involves divorce. For others it involves an affair.

This is a warning to all the men out there: if you love your girlfriend/spouse make an effort to connect with her on a mental, emotional and physical level. The more you connect on a mental and emotional level the more inclined she will be to want to have sex with you. Woman needs all three levels in order to feel connected to the man in their life. She enjoys talking about her feelings and she wants you to open up too. Don’t become a stranger.

Mandy X

Photo by symphony of love