Emotional Wellbeing

Mental Health

Mandy Kloppers

Self Harm

There is no specific type of person that self harms. An individual who self harms can not and should not be stereotyped; they can be of all ages, any sex, sexuality or ethnicity and of different employment status etc.

Each individuals relationship with self harm is complex and will differ. There can be many reasons behind self harm such as childhood abuse, sexual assault, bullying, stress, low self esteem, family breakdown, dysfunctional relationships, mental ill health and financial worries.

Self harm is primarily a coping strategy and can provide a release from emotional distress and enable an individual to regain feelings of control. Self harm can be a form of self punishment for feelings of guilt. It can also be a way to physically express feelings and emotions when individuals struggle to communicate with others. It is therefore important that individuals that self harm are able to express these feelings, thoughts and emotions in other ways whenever possible. It can be difficult to share the reasons behind the self harm with others and to gain the help and support that may be needed.

In the majority of cases self harm is a very private act and individuals can go to great lengths to hide scars and bruises and will often try to address physical injuries themselves rather than seek medical treatment. Whilst some individuals who self harm may have suicidal feelings, those feelings are likely to originate from the experiences and traumas behind their self harm rather than being influenced by self harm itself.

Understanding why you cut or self-harm is a vital first step toward your recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to get those needs met which in turn can reduce your desire to hurt yourself.

Remember, self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Sadness? Anger? Shame? Loneliness? Guilt? Emptiness?
Once you learn to recognize the feelings that trigger your need to self-injure, you can start developing healthier alternatives.

Mandy x

All names have been changed to protect the identity of clients. Personal client stories shared in this blog have been published with prior permission from the relevant clients.