Emotional Wellbeing


Mandy Kloppers

Power in relationships

man and woman photo

Power in relationships

Power in relationships relies on who cares the least. The less you are emotionally invested, the less you are affected by what the other person does. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least.

When we seek out a partner, we all have expectations of what we are looking for and how we imagine the relationship to be. Typically, a dynamic exists in the couples that come to me for help. There is usually an imbalance in terms of who cares more for whom. One person typically expresses less love, affection and respect than the other. It takes two people to begin a relationship but only one to end it.

Taking care of the power imbalance is a good way to re-assess the health of the relationship and address any power differences. Relationship do go through phases where one partner may seem to care more than the other, that’s normal. What isn’t normal is when the power imbalance never swings around. At this point, it is important to decide whether you are happy to stay in a relationship where you do not feel as loved as you should. The person who cares the most will inevitably find that their emotional needs are not being met and if they are truly honest with themselves, they will realise that they are sacrificing a lot for mere ‘crumbs’ of affection and love from their partner.

Power in relationships will always exist, be aware of the dynamic that exists in yours and address it accordingly. If the power seems completely out of balance, it may be worth seeking out couples counselling to redress the balance.

Mandy X

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