Mandy Kloppers

Online Relationships

Long Distance Online Relationships:

Online relationships offer very different dynamics to relationships where couples are physically close to one another.

The danger of online relationships is that it is easier to romanticise a person who is able to constantly present you with their best aspects and hide their annoying habits. It is very easy to manipulate the image you want to show to others when you are online.

A false sense of intimacy is easily created over the internet where the emphasis is on a meeting of minds rather than a physical intimacy, especially initially.

In order to maintain an online relationship, consider the following:

1) Online relationships lack aspects of reality

You are not coping with life together when you are dating online. You get through all the monotony and routine alone and save the focused time for when you are online. It is often the daily grind that affects relationships negatively so it may be possible that you think your relationship is so much better than it really is.

2) Online relationships are easy to romanticize

It is easy to idealise someone that you only talk to online. They can manipulate their image and present themselves in their best light possible

3) Online relationships can signal an issue with commitment

This isn’t always the case but sometimes, people that are drawn to long distance online relationships are frightened of intimacy and find it easier to conduct a relationship via their computer.

4) Online relationships can signify social ineptitude

Another reason to be wary is the possibility that the person you are chatting to is unable to socially interact within their local community and uses the internet as a disguise to cover up this weakness. Some people have social anxiety and find it easier to interact on a ‘normal’ level by using the internet.

5) The online relationship might be a secret relationship

It is fairly common that people engaging in long distance online relationships are doing so to fulfil a need that is not being met in their life. They could be married and feel stuck and bored in the relationship. Going online alleviates the monotony and is easily controlled and kept secret from a suspicious spouse.

People who are gregarious and can interact with others without any anxiety are not usually the types that will pursue long distance online relationships. They are more likely to join an internet dating agency with a view to meeting someone locally. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but it is important to consider the above points if you are about to embark upon a long distance online relationship or if you are already in an online relationship and have become suspicious of the other person’s motives or honesty.

Long distance relationships can work if the relationship is based more upon friendship than a romantic relationship and tend to fare better in the long run.

Mandy X