Emotional Wellbeing


Mandy Kloppers

Negative Self Talk

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Negative Self Talk

We all engage in negative self talk. The truth is – negative self talk serves no purpose other than to make you feel bad about yourself. Below is a list of common negative self talk statements that need to be stopped or at the very least, limited. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and when you catch yourself engaging in negative self talk, ping the band to remind yourself and reinforce the wish to stop putting yourself down.

1. I’m not worth it.

A very depressed way of looking at yourself. Telling yourself you are not “worth it” only perpetuates negative beliefs you may have picked up early in life. Why aren’t you worth it? Where’s the certificate of worthlessness?? Show the evidence.

2. There’s no point.

Telling yourself there is no point steals your personal power and leaves you with no motivation. You may not always see the overarching purpose but go for it anyway.

3. I can’t.

The most limiting words you can say to yourself. Whether you think you can or your can’t – you are probably right.

4. I’ll never follow through.

This is a set up for failure before you really get started. We all know that success comes one day at a time. Telling yourself you will fail before you get started is shooting yourself in the foot.

5. People won’t like me.

A set up for rejection. When you enter a new situation telling yourself that people won’t like you, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. How do you know that people won’t like you?

6. Others are better than I am.

We all tend to compare ourselves to others. Often we compare ourselves unfavourably to others. Why do that? Instead acknowledge that comparing is inane and that you should only compare yourself with someone who has walked in your shoes since birth.

7. I am not good enough.

A huge one for people who feel inadequate to meet the demands of life. A sense of personal inadequacy is very discouraging – don’t reinforce it.

8. I must be perfect.

No one is perfect. Don’t set unrealistically high standards for yourself – guaranteed disappointment as no one can be perfect.

9. My opinion doesn’t matter.

Your opinion is as important as anyone else’s. Learn to speak up.

10. I’ll never be any different.

Don’t give in to hopelessness. You make this statement a self fulfilling prophecy if you give in to it.

What To Do About Negative Self-Talk

Follow these steps to get a better handle on your negative self-talk:

Identify the negative self talk. So often we run on autopilot and allow our minds to ruin our day. So, start each day with the conscious goal to catch yourself saying negative things.

Be aware of any triggers that started the negative self talk – is there a pattern?

Think of evidence that supports your negative thinking as well as evidence that doesn’t support it. You will find that most of your thoughts can be challenged and are never as black and white as you believe them to be.

Reframe – ask yourself “what is another way to look at this that makes me feel better about myself?”

Instead of saying “I am not good enough”, try… “I may feel worthless right now but it is just a thought and it will pass. I have many good qualities”.

Become a better thought manager and remind yourself that thoughts don’t need to be believed or acted upon.

Mandy X

Photo by h.koppdelaney