Emotional Wellbeing


Mental Health

Mandy Kloppers

Narcissists- Five things you didn’t know

We all know someone who is a narcissist. We probably aren’t aware of their underlying defaults but we will be aware of their self serving tendencies and their tendencies to engineer everything around them to enable and promote their own wants and needs. Narcissistic parents are known for using their children to further their own wishes. They come first…always. Narcissists aren’t all bad and this is what makes it harder to detect them.

1)Narcissists find it impossible to see their responsibility in situations. They will blame their behaviour on someone else. They will have affairs but will justify it by telling their spouse that if they had paid them more attention they would not have strayed. Whatever happens, it will due to the behaviour of someone else. They really are blind to their own influence on situations and essentially see themselves as the victim. They are in such denial and this allows them to continue thinking very highly of themselves. The problem is that no one else sees them in a very positive light.

2)They’re adept at making positive first impressions but once people get to know them their popularity diminishes.

3)Narcissists look down on others and feel superior despite there being no reasons for them to see themselves as better than those around them.

4)They regularly project psychologically. They blame others for behaviour that they are engaging in. The self deception that narcissists engage in is incredible. They have a warped sense of reality and can be very vindictive. No matter what they do, they are able to justify their behaviour and this has a dangerous element to it.

5) Manipulation is one of their favourite hobbies and they are extremely good at it. They find it easy to manipulate others to see things their way and use this to garner support for their goals. They will spread lies and rumours about others to increase support for their twisted view of the world and have no qualms about lying to family, friends and their children. They can be so convincing and their poisoned view of the world is strengthened through this shared deceit. The more others believe them, the more they believe their distorted reality.

Being around a narcissist is emotionally draining and it is a waste of time trying to get them to address their attitudes and behaviour. Due to their high levels of denial, warped justification and manipulation, penetrating their defences will be impossible.
Acceptance is the best way forward, accept their limitations, be aware of their tactics and you can hopefully be one step ahead.

Mandy X

More info: https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

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