relationships Mandy Kloppers

Managing Strong Emotions

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Managing Strong Emotions

There have been times in my life when I have felt that I am walking a tight-rope between sanity/keeping it together and complete insanity where I will lose the plot and crumble into a tearful heap in the floor.

If you feel this way sometimes, there are ways to promote balance and to help you stay up on that rope.

1) Deal with issues as they crop up

In an ideal world, nothing would be left to fester. We would have it out with people who have upset us or transgressed in some way…the inner tension will be relieved and we can carry on as before. However, this often doesn’t happen in reality. Often, we suppress our emotions and inner stress starts to accumulate.

The more we allow stress to accumulate, the closer we get to our breaking point. When we repeatedly deny the existence of trouble and act as if everything is fine, the harder it becomes to maintain inner calm. This is when road rage surfaces, when we lose our tempers over insignificant things and begin to wobble on that tight-rope. Acknowledge what isn’t working in your life and try to find solutions. Not only will you end up happier and calmer but you will also feel more in control of your life in general.

2) Cultivate self awareness

Know your triggers. Do you detest people being late or do you go mad when people talk to you as if you are stupid? We all have our pet-hates that can send us off the sanity slide and into the sandpit of hysteria. Learn to manage your triggers by minimising exposure to them as much as possible. Some triggers are unavoidable and the best way to deal with that is to be prepared, watch your mood and take time out if you feel your anger increasing. Some people and certain situations can set us off so prepare yourself and give yourself a pep talk beforehand.

3) Understand the choices you have

When we feel trapped we automatically feel more stressed. Get into the habit of regularly checking what your options are when you are in an unsuitable situation. You may find that you have more choices available than you thought. If you feel trapped in an unhappy relationship, your life can feel stuck but there will always be options. Admittedly some may be scarier than others but you DO have choices..ask yourself if your fear of the unknown is stronger than the possibility of life full of misery, stuck in your current situation?

Look for possibilities rather than what isn’t possible. Take one small step at a time, sometimes, just taking that first step leads you to thinking differently and new doors open.

4) Self Belief

People who believe in themselves tend to have a positive inner dialogue. They talk to themselves in a way that is empowering. They believe that they can find a way through the tough times even when they are in the middle of unhappiness and feel completely lost. Having this self belief helps to keep intense emotions under control. Self believers are great self soothers.

Learn to believe in yourself. Know that it’s okay to feel scared, helpless and lost at times. It is also normal to feel out of control and to not know all the answers. Despite that, work on believing that you will find a way, somehow, even if it doesn’t seem obvious at first. Keep moving forward…

We all experience intense emotions at times. It feels as if we have lost complete control but thankfully intense emotions are like a flame, they cannot continue at the same intensity forever. Allow the intense emotions to pass before reacting. Managing strong emotions becomes easier when you take time to let your rational side return.

Mandy X

 

 

Photo by PreciousBytes

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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