Life’s what you make it

“Life’s what you make it” – it’s such an old cliche, but hear me out. Life is hard and I am not under any illusions about the hardships we can all face. In fact, I have faced many of them – chronic illness, heart break, poverty, fear, anxiety, rejection…yep – been there and got the t-shirt.

But whatever life throws at you, you can still choose your attitude. It’s about sink or swim. I have days when I just want to hide under the duvet and I can feel very sorry for myself. Then, after a bit of wallowing and self pity I force myself to listen to a pep talk: something like this:

“You’re wasting precious days doing things that are unhelpful and don’t make you feel any better. You can choose to focus on all the bad or you can try to find positive ways forward. You don’t have to like everything that happens to you in life but choose to be optimistic and don’t let the cruelty of life grind you down and make you bitter. Keep giving back love, hope and faith in spite of all the nonsense – that’s the best revenge”.

Every moment spent in bitterness and anger is a moment of possible joy that is wasted. Pick yourself up of the floor, stop feeling sorry for yourself and go DO something. Actions, even when the brain isn’t willing and there is no motivation, is the quickest way to kick-start a different way of thinking. Baby steps – start small, even if it means a 5 minute walk outside instead of spending all day indoors.

Work to find rational alternatives to your negative thinking… is it really true that everyone on the world is mean and nasty? That’s irrational – there are some horrid types out there but there are many examples of kindness and goodwill if you look for them. Watch what you believe, watch what you focus on and choose to live the best life possible. Accept the down days, live for the better ones and never ever lose hope.

Mandy X

Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.