Emotional Wellbeing




Mandy Kloppers

Life isn’t fair


Life isn’t fair

cruelty photoToday I am feeling fed up. Despite all of my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Training)  training, there are some days when life just makes me weary. Having the tools and the knowledge to manage life does not necessarily make life easier all of the time. When I attended my induction earlier this week at the University, one of the lecturers said that she didn’t always like books because they are too “clean”. Books are unable to mimic real-life situations in a comprehensive way. So as much as we like to read self-help books, there will be a limits to have this knowledge can help us in a positive way in real life.

This may seem a negative endorsement of self-help books and ideas, but I like to see it as a more realistic approach to self-help. I do tend to chastise myself when I feel unable to cope with life as I feel that all of my knowledge I should be able to cope well under all circumstances. When I’m having a down, emotional day I tend to be hard on myself. When I’m feeling reasonable and balanced I know that it is an realistic to always be able to rise above the challenges life sets us. I guess that is what makes us human.

Currently I am battling with people in my personal life (or rather one person in particular) who are narcissistic and vindictive and it makes it even more difficult when I think about how I used to respect this person. I always imagined that they would do the right thing but have been proven completely wrong on this score.

I realise that I cannot change this person or expect them to behave in a decent way, all I can control is how I react to their behaviour. Part of that reaction involves not letting other people overly upset me as this gives them power over me. One thing that we all have in common is that we cannot control other people. We may have expectations, we may wish they were different in certain ways but ultimately acceptance of who they are will lead us to quicker healing.

Thankfully, my wallowing thoughts such as “life isn’t fair”don’t last very long. In this instance I decided to blog in the moment. Perhaps it will help some readers to realise that we are all in this “soup” together and that we are all fallible. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you feel downtrodden and remember that you’re not alone. Hugs to all of you are having a bad day and I hope it gets much better!

Mandy X