emotional wellbeing Mandy Kloppers

Improve Your Self Esteem

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We are all under a lot of pressure to look good. It doesn’t help that we are bombarded on a daily basis by media images portraying lithe, flawless women who look impossibly perfect. How is the average woman supposed to compete?
Not only are these images unrealistic in that they are ‘doctored’ with airbrushing and computer software but they encourage millions of women to be extremely critical of themselves. Many women don’t like their bodies and most women aren’t 100% happy with their bodies and appearance.
So, they walk around on a daily basis, comparing themselves unfavourably to other women. Long term, this daily negative brain washing can have a profound effect on the way women see themselves.

Cosmetic surgeons are making a killing financially due to the endless stream of insecure, unhappy women who visit them hoping to achieve the impossible ideals they aspire to.

When is this madness going to end? It’s time to adopt a new perspective, one that will bring you a lot more peace.

  • Stop buying in to the media images you see on TV, films and in magazines. The photos that are chosen are the best images out of many. Most photos are discarded and for every photo shoot, the photographer has taken many more pictures that are unsuitable or unflattering. Life doesn’t give us the opportunity for retakes. Neither does reality provide airbrushing and tweaking – what you see is what you get. Celebrate the fact that you are real.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other women. This is self defeating and the only result is a feeling of dissatisfaction about yourself. If you are unhappy with your appearance, your mind will be tuned in to looking for other women who look better than you do. This serves to reinforce negative ideas about yourself and plummets your mindset into deeper troughs of negativity and self loathing. Don’t do it.
  • Work with what you have. Make the most of what you have been given. Accentuate your good bits and minimise the parts you don’t like. 
  • Accept ALL of you – good and bad. It’s okay to want to improve yourself but it is equally important to be able to stand naked in front of the mirror and acknowledge and accept the wobbly bits too. They are part of you and you are great.
  • Never ever criticise yourself. Self talk such as “I am fat.” or “I hate myself” just don’t belong in an accepting person’s mind. This kind of talk is destructive and does not work for you on any level. Instead, talk to yourself as you would a best friend. Be kind to yourself. Reaffirm yourself with comments and thoughts such as “I may not have the most perfect body but it serves me well, works for me every day and has allowed me to enjoy many good moments in life”
  • Love yourself. No one else defines you – that is your job. 
Life is too short to spend it chastising yourself for not being good enough. You are enough, just as you are and don’t let anyone else tell you anything different.
Mandy X

For a bit of fun..try Mandy’s iphone app: Life Wisdom https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/life-wisdom/id392898772?mt=8 More on Mandy: https://www.mandyjane-lifedesign.com The author of this blog lives in Surrey, UK and offers counselling to couples and individuals. All names have been changed to protect the identity of clients. Personal client stories shared in this blog have been published with prior permission from the relevant clients.

Mandy Kloppers
Author: Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.

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