Emotional Wellbeing

Mental Health

Mandy Kloppers

How To Stop Letting Your Emotions Control You

Emotions are very important elements of our lives. The brain has developed the ability to perceive and generate emotions because they are primarily essential for the survival of the individual and the species.


First of all, you need to become aware of your emotions, to acknowledge them &  to learn how to control them. Gaining control is not an easy task, it requires practice, patience, and time but it’s definitely doable.


  • Don’t let emotions or tension overwhelm you


You can start by keeping a journal or have an app that helps you organize your feelings. It may sound awkward but by writing them down you make your first step in getting to know yourself better. Also by writing them down for a while, at the end of the week you can take some time to reflect on what you wrote, this way you will know what to do when you will face the same trial for the second time.


  • Can we influence the way we manage our emotions?


Even though there is an extremely important temperamental genetic component, the formation of the emotional self-regulation ability starts from the first years of life and consolidates during early childhood, being sensitive to modeling by environmental factors (eg parenting style, education).


  • How can we control our emotions?


One of the most effective ways to take control of our emotions is cognitive-behavioral therapy, but other therapeutic practices such as yoga or mindfulness are also very effective. Practicing a sport and a disciplined lifestyle also helps control emotions. Expressing strong emotions, either positive or negative, through movement (dance, sports), art (painting, sculpture, etc.), music is an effective method of consuming them in a tolerable way for both the individual and society.


If you can’t become aware of their presence, the emotions will intensify up to the level where they will force you to pay attention to them.


When you experience a negative emotion, stop and ask yourself why you came to feel it. If you can’t do that, let’s learn together how to work with emotions according to the Superior papers in their research papers article.


  1. Calming


Once you are aware of your emotions, try and use calming techniques so that you reach a state of mind in which you can think clearly.

First, you need to calm down physically. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, inhale and exhale deeply three times, breathing from your stomach.

Then, calm down mentally through methods such as saying the words of your favorite song or counting from 50 to 1. Once you are calm, it will be much easier for you to focus and cope with the situation you are in. Negative emotions need to be explored; you can’t just simply ignore them.


  1. The guilt


Guilt is like a twisted critique because you feel you did the wrong thing. This can be helpful. If you feel guilty before making a certain decision or action, then stop and think better. If you feel guilty after an event, then you need to come up with changes. If you feel guilty about everything and everyone or if you can’t stop blaming yourself for your past, then something is completely wrong.

What can you do right now? Something very simple: imagine the instance that brings that feeling of guilt, as if it were happening to another person, so you will look at things from a much more objective perspective, you will be able to understand the big picture and you will realize if it’s needed to feel guilty.


  1. Anger


Anger is blame directed to others because you feel that others have acted wrongly from your point of view. If someone threatens you, then anger is a good feeling, because it is constructive and it stimulates you to defend yourself. But, if you are angry, angry that someone did not live up to your expectations, then nothing but an induced state of unhappiness, failure, sadness, and negativity will occur.

Instead, try to adjust your expectations to more realistic ones. Try to understand why another person does not live up to your expectations, your standards. Ask them to make changes to what they do and how they do it. Leave and come back after you calm down.

You saw a lot of the word “try” because you will not be able to fully master this technique from the first attempt, it requires time, perseverance, and a lot of desire to change the way you look at the roots that cause you the multitude of negative moods.


  1. Determination


When you find yourself in conflict with someone, either you need something from him or someone rejects your rights. It might seem that the only way out in such a situation would be either to step down or fight for your rights. Thus, there is a third approach.

A proper approach means having a fully-grown, mature attitude towards your needs and desires, without giving up or being aggressive. It means you have the right to ask for what you want and it is normal to get perceived.

However, it is necessary to take into account the fact that the other person must also be listened to, to identify his point of view and to negotiate a solution from which you both have something to gain.


  1. Anxiety


Certain anxiety, up to a certain level, is normal to be felt and to be present in your life once in a while. However, explicitly, when you are worried, you will see that the level of concern, nervousness, anxiety, or whatever you want to call it, does not decrease.

To avoid this, you will need to make a clear distinction between what you can and cannot do, what is your responsibility, and what is not. You have to learn that there are things that are simply not your problem. But when something is your problem, you need to act immediately and flip the situation from a negative to a positive one.



As more as you know yourself, you can manage your feelings better. Take your time and believe that you can control your feeling and they don’t even have the slightest chance to control you.

Don’t forget what you just read, just repeat it in your head and start your journey in being confident and in charge of your powerful mind.


In today’s society, it is vital to have energy, enthusiasm, optimism, the pure joy of life, to do things with pleasure in all areas of your life. Only then can you be happy and pass on your happiness to others. We all have emotions, and managing them means managing our lives.


Written by Kurt Walker:

Kurt Walker has been working as an editor and a copywriter for an essay writing service at MyAssignmentWriting in London for 3 years.  He provides thesis writing services and is also a journalist in such topics as inspiration, productivity, education, and technology.

Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash