Mandy Kloppers

How to identify a narcissistic sociopath



On the surface, a narcissistic sociopath is very hard to spot. They can be socially adept and extremely charming. In fact, they are good at being popular and being well liked. The difference between a sociopath and a health normal person is that the healthy-functioning person genuinely cares about others, the narcissistic sociopath does not. They are incredibly skilled at acting as if they care and know all the right things to say and do to reel you in. Once you are ‘hooked’ you can be sure they will begin to break you down. They can make you feel like the most wondrous person on the planet and the next instant, they can make you feel worthless.

What confuses others is that the narcissistic sociopath can be extremely kind and generous at times, this softer side keeps healthy functioning people doubting their perceptions and experiences, wondering if some how they have brought the narcissist’s behaviour upon themselves. As self blame grows, the narcissistic sociopath’s abusive behaviour becomes normalised…the abusive behaviour starts to appear normal to the victim.

At the beginning of the relationship, they will woo you and make you feel important and loved. They will say things like “I have never loved anyone like I love you” or “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” or “You are the love of my life”.

After you are hooked you (3-6 months) will be more likely to hear things like “You are fat and lazy”, “You are a slut”, “No one else will want you” or “You can’t do anything right, you are pathetic”. Sociopaths love belittling their victims, the more they criticise their partners, the more power they gain over them as their confidence diminishes over time.

Anyone who tries to control you or regularly criticises you doesn’t love you. They are abusive and you need to get away from them. We are all capable of being mean at times but a narcissistic sociopath will show a pattern of abusive behaviour, not one off’s.

Narcissistic sociopaths see people as objects. Things to be used to further their own aims. They lack empathy and cant put themselves in the shoes of others. They are often full of self importance and require excessive admiration from others. They regularly need ego boosts as they are fundamentally insecure within themselves.

Getting tangled up with a narcissistic sociopath will cause tremendous grief so don’t allow yourself to get hooked in the first place. If someone tried to woo you quickly and seems ‘over the top’ with affection, gifts and compliments – be wary. A slick performance may be just that , nothing genuine-  just a performance.

Mandy X