Mandy Kloppers

How to handle set backs

Life throws curve balls all the time. It’s not so much about the disappointment and the failure, it’s more about getting up and dusting yourself off. Do you know how to handle set backs? When life doesn’t go your way, do you crumble or can you keep perspective and find a way forward?

We all tend to make a bad situation worse by the way we think about a situation. We catastrophise and think the worst will happen. We can become self critical and self doubt can creep in.  So, here is my survival guide for how to handle set backs:

Don’t over analyse

Set backs occur all the time. It’s part of life. While it’s a good idea to learn the lesson and decide what not to do in the future (or what to do), there’s no point over analysing the excruciating minutae of every move you made. Don’t go over the “what ifs” either. Something didn’t work out, learn the lesson but don’t torture yourself over things you can’t control.

Stop beating yourself up

So, you may have messed up. It’s okay – you are human. Being self critical won’t be helpful and might send you into a worse frame of mind. Set backs are a part of life – welcome to the human experience.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Try to maintain perspective. Some things are far more important. A set back can seem all encompassing but it doesn’t have to be. It will take on the importance that you give it. See it as a hiccup along the way to where you need to be. A necessary rite of passage.

Move on quickly

Try not to replay the event in your mind more than is absolutely necessary. Look forward – onwards and upwards.

Don’t overreact

Set backs can take on a life of their own. The reality is that people experience set backs every day. Some are more serious than others but there is no shortage of problems, issues, relationship fallouts and work stress to go around. Ask yourself whether it will feel as awful this time next month? probably not. Chillax.

Set backs don’t need to bowl you right over. Take a step back. Look at what you can and can’t change. Learn the lesson, adjust and adapt and move on.

Mandy X