Emotional Wellbeing



Mandy Kloppers

How to handle fickle people

Unfortunately, the population of fickle people is growing. This is partly due to social media and online dating, to name a few. People are becoming commoditised, objects that can easily be replaced.

Online dating especially, gives a person the impression that there are loads of eligible people for us and unwittingly encourages us to become more fickle and picky. We have more choice than ever when it comes to most things, from the people we date to the food and clother we buy. The more choice we have the more we may feel shortchanged with what we have.

So how can you ‘fickle-proof’ yourself?

Actions, not just words

Empty promises are a sure sign of a fickle person. They have the gift of the gab and will promise you everything but will deliver nothing. Actions speak louders than words – look for actions, ignore the promises.


Fickle people can be good at feigning sincerity, so this can be harder to spot. If you are on the lookout though for contradictions in what they say and do, you may find evidence that you are dealing with a fickle person. Fickle people tend to brag and big themselves up, genuine people don’t need to boast unnecessarily.


Try to figure out a person’s values. Genuine people tend to place importance on the important things in life: friends, family, honesty and integrity. Fickle people enjoy status, power, money. For them, it’s often all about image and about what others think of them. They live for approval and external validation.

Self esteem

Fickle people often act confident but underneath their bravado they are often painfully insecure. Insecurity nurtures fickle behaviour as they like to keep their options open in order to keep themselves ‘safe’. Their reasoning is that if they have a few suitors, they won’t be alone and will always have options. People who aren’t fickle are more comfortable within themselves and don’t need others to make them feel safe. They can rely on themselves.


Fickle people don;t like making decisions. They don’t trust themselves and don’t like to feel boxed in. The are flighty and commitment phobic. If the person you care about won’t or can’t commit you may have a fickle person on your hands.

The above are just guidelines. Fickle people come in all shapes and sizes but often they will display two or more of the above characteristics. Do you have someone fickle in your life? Any characteristics you’d like to add? Send me a comment!

Fickle people will string you along. They are flakey and are ultimately quite directionless people who tend to be fair-weather friends. Tread carefully.

Mandy X