Mental Health


Mandy Kloppers

How to Better Your Relationship With Your Spouse After Kids

No matter how much you try to keep the spark alive in your relationship, the responsibilities always get in the way of it. The duties of running the household, doing your job, and, of course, taking care of your children, who consume nearly all of your energy every day, can be pretty tiring. Most couples go days without doing anything more intimate than brushing their teeth together at the same time. However, even after you’ve had children, you can still keep up the spark alive in your marriage. We are here to help you out to make your relationship more interesting.

Plan intimate date nights

After your kids go to bed, you can have a date night at home. If you simply cannot afford frequent nights away and hire a babysitter, or if you are too tired to go outside, find some time after the children have gone to sleep to sneak in together. Doing a date night doesn’t mean that it has to be anything extravagant. It can be as simple as watching a film together while ordering food. It can significantly enhance your relationship with your partner if you focus on each other.

Check up on each other

Have a one-on-one check-in once a week. Set up a regular check-in with one another to discuss the condition of your relationship and how close and committed you to feel about one another. You could also use the opportunity to discuss how your week has gone so far. It only takes 30 to 45 minutes to chat, but it’s an excellent method to stay in touch.

Show your love with small acts

It’s better to take out some time out of each day to express your love and gratitude to your spouse. These small acts of kindness will help strengthen your relationship. You can tell each other some lines of appreciation at the end of the day when you get done with all the work. Making a conscious effort to let your spouse know what they are doing right rather than what they are doing wrong might help to deepen your bond. Small acts of kindness can also go a long way. You can make small gestures such as husbands can make a cup of coffee for their wives in the morning, and the wives can fill the car up with petrol when it’s unexpected and cross this task out of their ‘to-do list.

Small successes counts

Keep your expectations in check. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Parenting is an emotionally and physically demanding experience for every parent at some point. Many people find it draining regularly. Be fair to yourself and recognize that you’re doing the best you can with your limited cash resources, time limits, and frequently time-consuming daily duties. Even if it’s just spending half an hour of quality time with your spouse a few times a week, go for it.

Make out time for each other

Don’t forget that you were a couple before you became parents, which will make your life much easier. Co-parenting becomes the single most crucial responsibility for you when you have a child to look after, and that’s quite natural. But keep in mind that you’ll have to work a little harder to keep your relationship together. Participating in a shared activity will help you reconnect as a pair. You can go for a walk together, play tennis, or even plan a picnic where you can spend some quality time together. Just put your phone down for once and have a heart-to-heart talk.

Don’t ignore physical intimacy

Physical intimacy is another type of emotional love. If you want to keep your marriage alive, sex is the key to it. Making love should not be viewed as a duty. Enjoy every bit of the physical intimacy you have with your partner, and there’s no reason why you can’t make time for a play in the bed even after you’ve become parents. If you have a problem with your sex life and want some guidance, we suggest you consult a sex therapist in your area. For instance, if you live in Florida you can look for a Miami sex therapist that can help you out with all your sex-related problems.


As the years pass, many couples lose their spark over time. However, with a bit of effort, you can definitely keep that spark alive in your relationship.