It’s important to think of a relationship as a fire to be kindled rather than a process to complete. Love, nurturing and care are just as important in a marriage lasting fifty years as it is a relationship starting and lasting its first month.
While it’s true that all romantic relationships tend to change over the years as the day-to-day practical realities of life and living take shape, that shouldn’t mean we’re robbed of intimacy, trust, or the willingness to feel safe next to one another.
But it can sometimes feel that all of the ‘methods’ recommended to us by relationship experts or counselors in keeping our relationship lively and afloat can seem a little one-note, or only good for a short amount of time. How can we keep those fires burning and those embers stoked bit by bit, despite ourselves?
In this post, we’ll discuss four principles you can assert when making your relationship decisions, rather than telling you exactly what to do going forward:
Make Time For One Another
Time is the most valuable resource either partner can invest in the relationship. It’s more important than money, than kind words, than anything else. When you’re with someone, you spend time with them. That’s essential for any relationship to thrive, just as a plant needs water.
This, of course, means more than just sitting on the sofa with one another and watching television, although after a long day of work you can’t shrug that off as pointless. The time invested in coming together and discussing topics, in playing board games, in going out to eat, in just heading to your local park at the weekend and lazily making your way through town. All of it makes a tremendous difference.
It also allows you to become friends rather than just lovers, which is essential for any romantic relationship to blossom. After all, platonic love is one of the purest forms of love out there, and so if you can actively enjoy spending time with your better half, you won’t have to forgo anything in order to sustain that relationship.
Put Thought Into Your Gifts
Putting thought into the relationship is of course worthwhile, and that can often be best expressed through gifts that are worthwhile and attentive to who they are. For instance, these wonderful Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him are unique, interesting, and quality without having to break the bank.
Some couples think that wanton spending on one another without much in the way of insight is worthwhile, but that rarely ingratiates you with someone or gives such a gift that personal touch we all cherish. If you can make sure that your gift is properly considered, then the reaction you get in return is sure to be both mesmerizing and enjoyable.
Share Memories & Truths
It’s good to trust those you’re in a relationship with, to allow them to get to know you via sharing your intimate truths and that which you need to trust someone to share. The more you can do this, the more they will reciprocate, and that can lead to two people fully understanding each other.
This isn’t to say you need to dump your entire life experience onto a potential partner within the first 90 days of your coming-together, but over time, relationships can deepen when trust and honesty is freely volunteered to that other person (provided it yearned, of course). That kind of approach is a worthwhile effort to make.
This is the kind of approach that can help two people feel connected and allied to one another, which is necessary if you’re to face the ups and downs of this strange world as a unit.
Get Out Of Your Usual Routine From Time To Time
Over time, the usual routine can have an eroding effect on a relationship, as the dynamism can go. Of course, if you both have careers, children, and responsibilities to handle, then it’s not as if you have much time to go out for the day, or to book an impromptu vacation without advanced planning.
That said, from time to time it can be healthy to get out of your comfort zone and try something anew. Taking adventures together, even if that’s as simple as going on a road trip with your children in tow, can help life feel a little more vibrant and to avoid that process of ‘going through the motions’ which leads relationships to feel a little less carefree than before. This isn’t to say you need to overdo it, but having this as an option can work wonders.
With this advice, you’re sure to see how your relationship can sustain itself over time.