Emotional Wellbeing


Mandy Kloppers

How acceptance can transform your life

We can’t avoid change but we can use acceptance to help us cope with change and the things we can’t control. Acceptance is a clever mental skill that is highly underrated. Acceptance can transform your life when you change the resistance that is creating more suffering.

Accepting the way your life is right now doesn’t mean you are giving up. It’s just a change of attitude that involves a non-judgemental stance. No fighting, no resisting or trying to change something into something it can never be. The present situation you find yourself in is a result of past events and decisions. It’s a culmination.

Some situations in life are just plain unfair…but for other situations you will be partially responsible. Many of us don’t accept our part to play in hoe life has unfolded, in effect, giving away our ‘power’ and feeling even more powerless.

Acceptance opens up the opportunity for you to recognise your role in the situation. Often when we feel upset, our first reaction is to blame someone else and the angrier you get the worse you feel.

Being overly critical of a situation prevents you from taking steps to change that situation. Being overly judgemental of a situation or overly critical of yourself often leads to more pain, missed details and paralysis.

What can you do to be more accepting?

Acknowledge your situation without judgement or criticism. Refocus your attention on what you can do now.

Use coping statements

Below are a few examples but you can create your own…

“This is the way it has to be”

“I can’t change what has already happened”

“The present is the only moment I have a control over”

“Everything is unfolding as it’s meant to”

Try this acceptance exercise

Read a controversial story in a newspaper without being judgemental about what has occurred.

The next time you get caught in traffic, wait without being critical.

Listen to a news story or a political statement without being critical of what’s happening.

Review a nonupsetting event that happened in your life many years ago and use acceptance to remember the event without judging it.


Use coping statements if you need to. The above exercises are good ways to help you judge less and accept that certain things just are. When we judge and instil rigid rules in life, we maintain our misery. Acceptance instead of resistance where we have no control, is the key to a happier, more contented life.

Mandy X

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash