So many of us live a lie. “Life’s great..couldn’t be better” we say, when inside we feel like we’re dying. Sad, lonely, afraid and detached from the world around us. Why is it that we have to hide the truth? Ironically, this is one of the reasons why I am so busy as a Counsellor/Psychologist. Many people feel sad/hurt/neglected/worried but have no where to turn and end up having to pay someone just to be able to talk and be themselves. They are able to open up without fear of judgement or rejection. It’s a sad state of affairs and I have realised how many people, even those with a large social group of friends and/or family can find themselves in this situation.
Often, we don’t want to burden others with our troubles as we feel they probably have enough to deal with on their own. Â Many of us doubt how we feel and chastise ourselves, as if we don’t have the right to feel a certain way.
When you strip off the layers of bravado, status and all that other societal nonsense, we all want the same things and we all feel sad and dejected at times in our lives.
Here are a few tips to feeling more connected to others as well as a bit more open and honest with yourself as well:
1) Reach out to others. You will be surprised at the amount of support that is out there. Reaching out also helps to break and challenge false beliefs we may have about the kindness and care that others might show. Most people generally want to help, let them in.
2) Accept how you feel inside. Acknowledgment and acceptance help enormously in dealing with negative emotions. It’s half the battle. Once you accept the way you feel, you are more likely to do something about it. It is impossible to fix a problem if it’s existence is denied.
3) Foster a support network. See friends, engage with other people. The more we withdraw, the more we compound the problem.
4) Examine your ideas and beliefs about others. Everyone is not “out to get you”.
5) Examine your ideas and beliefs about yourself. You are not a failure and you certainly are not weak if you ask for help or admit there is a problem.
Life will always have it’s ups and downs. Keep a sense of humour, especially when the going gets tough and remember that we’re all in this together! No one escapes alive…