Mandy Kloppers

Focus on the good stuff

smiling photo

Focus on the good stuff

There is always good AND bad to every situation. EVERY situation. Focus on the good of the situation you are in and the bad/negatives of what you don’t have. The default position for most people is to focus on the negatives of their situations and the positives of what they don’t have.
This is counterproductive and eats away at confidence. It is in your best interests to work in harmony with your circumstances and adapt your thinking.
For example, if you are in a relationship, you might find that you focus on all the negatives of being in a relationship and the positives of being single. How does that work for you? It probably doesn’t unless you make the decision to be single and take action.
Rather, to be more content, focus on the positives of being in a relationship: having a companion, having someone to do things with and talk to, not having to go to bars/pubs/clubs…whatever works for you. Think about the negatives of being single, having to make small talk and impress someone, the fear of rejection and so on.
This thinking will help you to feel a lot happier about your situation. It is a simple effective trick that can be applied to almost all situations. Alter your thinking to achieve an instant mood lift.
When your thoughts are aligned with what you are doing, there is cohesion which naturally promotes confidence.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparisons are self sabotaging and don’t benefit you. It can work to motivate you and some comparison is natural but when it turns to comparing yourself negatively, this will affect your confidence and it is unhelpful.

Don’t assume others have a better life than you do

You do not know what is really going on. This is faulty thinking that isn’t based on any real evidence. Instead this type of thinking tends to be based on our own insecurities. Focus rather on bettering your own life and finding the true you. What is it that makes you happy and allows you to feel ‘in the zone’?
Remember that images on the surface are often far removed form what is truly going on behind closed doors.

Surround yourself with positive, inspiring people

Positive energy is contagious!!

Occupy your senses

When we feel vulnerable, our thinking can turn to worry and self doubt. Be aware of when you are in this mind frame and try to distract yourself. Engaging your senses stops you from over thinking and stressing out. By all means give your self ‘worry time’ (assign half an hour a day to focus on worry and problem solving) but put a limit on this and then get back to being resolution focused and pro active. It is a myth that the more you worry the less likely it will be that problems surface.
A few simple tricks that can help you to focus on the good stuff and limit the negative thoughts that you focus on can make all the difference. Make your mind and it’s content work for you and not against you. It’s a skill that can be learned and it will almost certainly improve your quality of life.
Mandy X
Scroll to Top