Self Improvement

Mandy Kloppers

Fear of starting over


starting over photo

Fear of starting over

Dealing with change is stressful for most of us. Humans are creatures of habits and the unknown can be very unsettling. Unfortunately the moment we think about change, our thoughts turn negative and we tend to focus on all can go wrong. Our insecurities and self limiting beliefs start to run riot. Think about how differently you would approach life if you knew you couldn’t fail. Do you think you would be more adventurous? Life is a series of trials and tribulations and we are all here to complete and learn from certain life lessons.

It saddens me when I think about the numerous clients that I see whose stay stuck in unfulfilling and unhappy relationships. When they talk about starting over, they rarely see the positives of making changes. At times I can get through to them when I asked them what the disadvantages will be of staying in the current unhappy situation. But still the fear of loneliness seems greater than the pursuit of happiness.

Starting over does involve a leap of faith. It helps to have high self-esteem and a strong sense of inner resilience that you can deal with whatever comes your way. It’s also about knowing that you deserve a life full of opportunity and that achieving your true potential may never come about if you fear change too much.

Starting over is never as frightening as the anticipation of starting over is. I know this from personal experience. Looking back, life hasn’t gone quite according to plan that I know that in terms of personal development I have made huge strides. Had I not taken the leap of faith I am certain that I would still be fearful, lacking in confidence and less worldly wise. I want to be able to look back on my life and know that I gave myself the best chances to experience life as fully as possible. I had the same fears as many of my clients-will I find somebody else? Will I regret my decision? Will anybody love me with a child in tow and health complications (cystic fibrosis)? Isn’t it easier just stay with what I know?

The more you see yourself as an independent person experiencing life in various stages without becoming too attached to any one thing specifically, the more you are likely to learn from the world around you and grow as a person. The brave, shake it up a little and have faith in your ability to deal with whatever comes your way.

Mandy X


Photo by mitramirae