Emotional Wellbeing

Mental Health


Mandy Kloppers

Dealing With Your False Accusers Tactfully (While Preserving Peace Of Mind)

Being accused of doing something wrong or illegal is always a challenging experience. All of a sudden, it throws your life into chaos and produces all sorts of unexpected consequences, from the way people treat you in your personal life to financial problems when suspended from work. 

Part of the solution is to deal with your accusers tactfully. If someone says you’ve done something wrong, then listening to them and responding appropriately is essential. But what should you be doing from an emotional perspective? 

Stay Calm

Whenever accused of anything, regardless of how absurd it seems, remain calm. Maintaining your composure helps you craft better responses and reduces further accusations of guilt based on your reaction. 

Of course, staying calm is easier said than done. One approach is deep breathing, which is something that works for most people. Another option is to go for a walk or bicycle ride. Getting some exercise and letting off steam can also help. 

Depending on the accusation, you may also find it calming to go to a professional. For example, working with a sexual offence solicitor if accused of sexual misconduct at work can put your mind at ease and help you work through various defences. 


Acknowledge Their Feelings

Another pro tip for dealing with your accusers is to acknowledge their feelings. You can still sympathise with them, even if what they are saying is untrue. 

Don’t admit fault or say sorry when you do this. Instead, just make clear that you understand how they feel and what they are going through. Tell them that you know why they are reacting the way they are and that you can see things from their perspective. 

Often, taking this stance is a highly effective way to deal with accusers tactfully. That’s because it is disarming and can encourage them not to escalate the situation further. Sometimes an empathetic conversation is all that’s needed. 


Clarify The Situation

Once you’ve done that, clarifying the situation is another excellent tactic. Ideally, you want to know precisely what you’re being accused of doing. 

When doing this detective work, it’s imperative to keep records for future escalations and your own peace of mind. Once you know what’s going on and what you’re being charged with doing, it makes the situation easier to manage. Otherwise, you don’t know the problems you are facing. 

The more you can clarify, the more likely you are to get to the bottom of things. You can find out where things went wrong and what to do about it. 


Focus On Resolution

If at all possible, you should also focus on resolution. Trying to come to terms with the opposing party is something you can do to generate more peace of mind and help the issue to blow over. Of course, this won’t always be possible but it is sometimes. Ultimately, when facing accusers, you need to take care of your well-being. You don’t want to get into a situation where an accusation triggers mental health problems.


Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

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