Mandy Kloppers

Dating With Depression

When you have depression, dating can be much tougher than it is when you are mentally healthy, but we all deserve to be loved and there is no reason why you should not put yourself out there when you are feeling depressed.

With that in mind, below you will find some tips to help you successfully date when you are suffering from depression:

Take it slowly

It is usually a bad idea to jump right in when dating even if you are well, but when you are suffering from depression, it is even more important you take things slowly. If you go too fast, you could end up wearing yourself out or becoming disheartened and spiralling when your efforts are not as fruitful as you might have hoped. 

Start online

It is much easier to ease into dating when you start online. Not only is there something for everyone from Muslim dating apps to dating apps for people who love the paranormal, so it is easier to find people you can connect with but it is also easier to take things at your pace and get to know someone before you meet. When you are feeling vulnerable, this can be a good way to build trust and build up your confidence before meeting in person.

Bring your diagnosis up after a few dates

Your depression is a big part of your experience right now, so you will naturally want to talk about it, but it is probably a good idea to wait until the second or third date, at least, before you talk about it. This will give you time to get comfortable with the person you are dating and gauge how receptive they will be.

Although there is nothing wrong with disclosing your depression, it is probably a good idea not to go into too much detail until things progress further as this could leave you very vulnerable and it could give your date the impression you were monopolizing the subject. 

Do not expect your date to save you from depression

Getting out there and dating can definitely help you to feel better when you are depressed, but if you expect dating to solve all your problems for you, then this is not really a healthy way to go about things and you will probably be disappointed. Depression is a complex diagnosis and no one thing will solve it for you. So, go out, meet nice people, and have fun, but do not put all of your eggs in the dating basket.

Be honest

If you’ve made a date but you are feeling too sad or too tired to attend, then be honest with your fate and postpone. It can be tempting to lie about these things, but that does not make for a healthy dating life or future relationship.

Dating may not be as simple when you are diagnosed with depression, but it is possible to find that special someone and have a great time with them, and the ideas above will definitely help you to do that more effectively. Good luck.


Photo by Mikhail Nilov: