Relationships

Mandy Kloppers

Can a Toxic Relationship Turn into a Healthy Relationship?

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If you’re like many people out there, you know you want to find love just like everyone else, but you may find it more complex than it seems. You think you find the perfect soul mate, and it starts great, but over time, things begin to go south. Suddenly, you find yourself in a toxic relationship. If you find that you’re in a relationship that’s less than stellar, then you need to look at the reason why. Then determine if the romance can be rekindled. Or if you should move on and try something new. 

Today, we’ll discuss what makes relationships toxic and how you may fit into the equation. If your connection can be saved, we’ll tell you how to get it back on track.

Signs You May Be In A Toxic Relationship

There can be many signs that you’re in a toxic relationship; some are more obvious than others. The more blatant signs of toxicity can include rude or sarcastic language, critical and insulting remarks, and snide comments that are fueled by contempt. If you can’t get through a day without an argument, then you need to look at your relationship. 

Then there are even more direct signs, like controlling behaviors. Your partner may always ask where you are or prevent you from doing what you want or going where you desire. These behaviors might evolve into patterns of disrespect where they don’t attend functions that you deem important, or they may constantly lie to you or put you down.

Another sign of a toxic relationship is when it seems like all you do is give, and all your partner does is take. You might be the one who tries to ignite all the romance, and your partner may seem happy when you do. However, they never return the favor or may not show many feelings of intimacy unless they want something. 

Your partner’s behaviors may not be extreme, so you might not initially believe that you’re in a toxic relationship, but there are some subtle signs you’ll want to pay attention to, and one of them is your libido. Women can have a low libido or sex drive, which can have numerous causes, including relationship problems. If you’re not being treated with respect or feel like you’re not in a healthy place, you may have a reduced desire to show intimacy. If you think that’s the case, you need to look deeper at your love life.

Look Inside Yourself

You may believe that you can turn a toxic relationship into a healthy relationship, and sometimes you can. However, you first need to understand why the arrangement may be toxic and if it can truly be repaired. You may need to look inside. Some people will stay as part of a couple because they have low self-esteem, even though the relationship may not be good for them. You may be afraid to leave because you think you can’t find someone else. Even worse, you may mistakenly believe that you deserve what you get.

If you believe low self-esteem may be the culprit, therapy could help. A therapist can help you get to the root of your issue and may be able to help guide you through a breakup. They can also help with easing into dating again if need be.

Before you make any drastic moves, consider looking at the different attachment styles and deciding which fits your relationship. A poor attachment to a partner can result in a negative relationship. Some attachment styles can be considered harmful, such as the anxious style, which is when you stay with a partner because you fear abandonment. There’s also the avoidant style, which means you have a favorable view of yourself and are highly independent, but struggle to form strong relationships with others. You want to reach a positive type of attachment, the secure style, where you can communicate openly and rely on one another to do what’s right. 

Once you understand your style, you can advance into your future relationships more confidently. You’ll know what you need to do to make your love life thrive and the red flags to be aware of so you can end a poor connection before it worsens.

Get Your Relationship Back On The Right Track

If you believe that you and your partner are going through a rough patch and can make healthy changes, it may be worth the effort to stay in a relationship.  You need to start by talking out your problems. If your partner is receptive, you have a good chance, but you must be dedicated to continuous communication.

During your conversations, you can try to navigate your relationship troubles by ensuring that you also own up to your wrongdoings because it’s not a one-way street. If your partner says that they act a certain way because of your behaviors, then look inside, and if it’s true, think about how you can change for the better. If there’s something that your partner does that makes you feel bad or angry, then don’t beat around the bush, but talk about it directly. Then, you can move forward.

Another way to fix a toxic relationship is to continue seeking help and consider the idea of therapy, or in this case, couples therapy. By sitting in a room with a professional, you are forced to discuss your worries, hopes, and concerns without fear of judgment. The therapist can ask the right questions to help you determine if moving forward in this relationship is a good decision. 

Closing Thoughts

Sometimes it may be possible to mend and improve a toxic relationship, but in many cases, that may not be what’s best for our relationship or your personal well-being. If you find that you can’t remove yourself from the situation even though you know you should, then it’s time to get help. Reach out to someone you trust for help or use a 24-hour support line. Remember that your well-being is always the most important thing.