Relationships

Mandy Kloppers

Bossy Boots

Bossy?
Bossy?

Are you overbearing? Perhaps you don’t even realise it but there are many people who try to push their ideas and ways of life onto others, and believe me – this can be a draining experience for those on the receiving end!

Bossy types often harbour feelings of insecurity and developing a ‘leadership’ role helps them to deal with these perceived inadequacies. The problem is that this motivation comes from a distorted place and the ensuing results often end up distorted as well.  Their grip on reality isn’t quite right and they often feel they need to protect their views and ways of doing things unnecessarily. This rigid way of looking at life makes life very difficult for those around who constantly have to defend themselves and their reasons for doing things.

Bossy people often expect everyone else to see the world the way they do and function in a similar way to them. So when people have differing motivations or ideas, bossy rigid folk cannot get their head around it.

Ways to deal with this:

1) Don’t give in to their wishes. It can be easy to lose confidence around someone who continually questions why and how you do things. Remind yourself that you managed just fine before this person came along and that you can continue to make decisions for yourself and believe in your choices as well as deal with these decisions – whether they turn out to be correct or incorrect.

2) Instead of getting worked up each and every time they try to boss you about, learn to let their bossiness wash off you like water off a duck’s back. It is their opinion against yours and they don’t know everything. Believe in yourself more.

3) Maintain a sense of humour. Seeing the funny side can stop this becoming a nasty struggle. Laugh it off, pretend to be listen and then do it your way.

4) Being bossy is a form of aggressive behaviour where one person is trying to assert their will over another, a “win-lose” situation. Assertive behaviour is the ideal set up which leads to a “win-win” situation where both parties needs are valued.

5) Remind yourself that someone who is bossy is trying to overcompensate for a underlying feeling of lack on some level. When you look at them in this light you will find them less threatening and be more likely to see the funny side…

Mandy X