Emotional Wellbeing


Mandy Kloppers

Beautiful but boring

Being beautiful but boring is a dangerous strategy because what do you do when you get older and your looks start to fade? My mother always told me to never rely on my looks and to always make sure I had an interesting personality to see me through life. Not that I ever thought I was pretty. I can look at pictures of myself when I was younger and think that I looked quite pretty but at the time of the photo, I can remember feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

I don’t think I have ever felt confident about the way I look. This is partly just a female thing – most women tend to be quite hard on themselves and focus on their bad bits. The other culprit is the media, showing airbrushed images of impossibly perfect women. I have to console myself by thinking they must surely be beautiful but boring.

Annoyingly, there are beautiful people who are lovely and interesting too but there are many more who are beautiful but boring. They rely solely on their looks and become a unifaceted individual who can pull in the crowds but can’t sustain the interest for very long.

Ironically, I have had really beautiful clients (all interesting!) and they have been the ones who are the most insecure about themselves. Go figure! It makes sense in some ways, someone who has grown up to be told regularly that they are good looking will come to value their looks and place more emotional investment in how they look. Their looks become part of their perceived worth and as a result they focus more on how they look. Someone less beautiful will compensate by being funny and interesting as well.

Not to say that beautiful people don’t work on being funny and interesting but there will always be those who are one trick ponies and they will be the unhappiest ones as they age.

Beauty is only one part of the equation. We are all worthy no matter what we look like. It’s important to see all our various ‘components’ – who we are, our values and what we stand for (are we kind, caring and thoughtful? etc) and the impact we have on the world around us are just as important (if not more important) than the way we look. Sadly society is a long way from shifting the focus away from how we look on the outside.

Mandy X