Inspiration

Life

Self Improvement

Mandy Kloppers

Be irrestistable

charisma photo

Be irrestistable

Some people get nervous when I talk to them about being irrestistable. It triggers their insecurities and they begin thinking about how they have never been or felt a part of the ‘irresistable brigade’. Therein lies the source of the problem before we have even begun.

Our inner dialogue and how we automatically see ourselves can limit us immeasurably. Especially if the way we see ourselves is negative or leads us to believe we are inadequate or inferior in some way. The initial step to being irresistable is to believe it is true for us and that we have within us all that is required to be irresistable. It starts with the beliefs about ourselves.

It is also important to never compare yourself to others. We tend to place a value on everything, this is good..that is bad. Comparing tends to take this form too and is self destructive. We compare ourselves (mostly unfavourably) to others but the truth is, comparing serves no positive purpose. Think of each person, including yourself, as unique. See it as impossible to compare yourself to others – we are all so different and others see us differently – beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Focus on your strengths – are you witty, a good conversationalist or great at organising? We all have our unique blend of talents. There is no other person like you who consistently sees the world the way you do, who will act the way you do and say the things you do. Be proud of who you are- work with what you’ve been given.

One of the most alluring things is self confidence – someone who is happy in their own skin. Learn to love who you are, warts, cellulite and all…being your number one fan allows others to buy into that too. Being your number one enemy will encourage others to see that too.

Once you’ve decided that you like who you are (more or less – there’s always room for improvement for all of us)…you can get to work focusing on others. Charismatic people have a way of making others feel great about themselves. People love the way they feel when around charismatic people and this encourages others to seek them out. Pay attention to the company you’re in – really listen instead of preparing your response to what they are saying. When you make a person feel valued and special it’s like giving them a magic potion that makes them really like you. Trust me it works. Of course, be genuine about it. Liking people and wanting to know about them and their stories often guarantees that you will be sought after.

Other qualities that work well are: being non judgemental – we can all judge others, that’s not difficult. It is much harder to live and let live. When you come across as approachable, warm and genuine your ‘energy’ will draw people to you.

Imagine people liking you, wanting to chat to you – why wouldn’t they want to? (Remember your inner dialogue needs to be positive…) Our inner world and what we tell ourselves gets mirrored in the external world so choose your thoughts carefully. What do you want to believe about you? You can choose – your thoughts are not facts so choose thoughts that work week for you and boost you. Be effervescent…be irresistable – you are the only one stopping yourself.

Mandy X

 

 

 

Photo by new 1lluminati