Mandy Kloppers

Are you in denial?


Are you in denial?

we all deny certain parts of our lives. It is a common defence mechanism which helps us to avoid pain. But what are the consequences of being in denial? Is there something that you are denying or not facing up to? Is your inner wisdom nudging you to face your denial in order to move forward in a healthy open way?

When you are in denial you will be telling yourself that something that is true is not true. Or you may be telling yourself that it doesn’t really matter or doesn’t even exist. We are often so good at suppressing unpleasant issues that we come to believe the complete opposite of what is really going on. This helps us to feel safe and avoid dealing with the source of our chagrin.

sometimes we do acknowledge the issue but we tell ourselves that it isn’t really painful or damaging to us. When we do this, we deny ourselves the opportunity to have the appropriate feelings that would heal the hurt. No closure will ever occur when we are in denial. Sometimes  we are in denial over a single event and other times we deny whole areas of our lives or feelings.

The trouble with being in denial is that it doesn’t work and it leads to all kinds of painful results. Denial can make you reckless and thoughtless and sometimes the accompanying suppression can make you bitter, twisted and unpleasant to be around.When in denial, the issue becomes bigger and has a greater negative impact on your life until you face it and acknowledge is impossible to be open, honest and fulfilled if you are in denial about the part of your life or a part of who you are. There will always be this black hole that is avoided and not talked about which means that life is not congruent when someone is in denial.

Being in denial effectively means that you are not allowing yourself to display the real you. There is a sense of personal rejection on some level. When you’re in denial, you are likely to repeat painful patterns in relationships and be surprised when things keep on failing to work out as you hoped.. You keep trying to fix or solve problems which can never be properly resolved until you break your denial and deal with the underlying issues.

Confront whatever it is that you are in denial of. Look at areas in your life that are not as successful as you would like them to be-there is bound to be denial in these areas in some form. Expose hidden secrets, personal fears and insecurities. Letting go of being in denial will allow you to become free, braver and wiser.

Denial is like a blanket of fear which covers everything it touches. Don’t be afraid to reveal the real you. The closer your inner world reflects on your outer world, the happier you will be.

Mandy X