Relationships

Mandy Kloppers

Are you in a situationship?

A situationship can leave us questioning our worth, our value, and if we’re even lovable.

What does it mean to be in a situationship?

Less than a relationship, but more than a casual encounter or booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and remains, undefined.

Situationships are becoming a trend

Why is this becoming a trend now? “Culturally, our expectations of relationships has changed; people are getting married later in life, and many people are eager to explore relationships in a less structured way without pressure to commit, as they prioritize self-knowledge and developing as individuals,” says Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in California.

On the one hand, removing the pressure of putting parameters on what the relationship is and isn’t can be freeing – as long as both parties are okay with leaving things open. On the flip side, not knowing where you stand can be detrimental, especially if one party wants more of a commitment. “This vagueness often leads one person to feel uncertainty, anxiety, frustration, resentment, helpless and sometimes even depressed,” Alpert says.

Situationships can be toxic

While experts say situationships can have their temporary benefits, they can quickly move into harmful territory if one partner starts to want more. “When both people are not in sync on the nature of the situationship, anger and resentment can arise over time,” says Carla Manly, a psychologist practicing in California. “This can manifest in toxic behaviors, such as passive-aggressive actions, anger outbursts and toxic communication.”

Not to mention, moving on from a situationship can result in unresolved feelings, since there’s nothing to technically break off. And depending on how long this situationship lasted, having it end without it ever amounting to any kind of commitment can be hard to process. “A deep sense of regret can come from spending your time — sometimes months or years — in a relationship that is stagnant,” says Manly. “Many people lament having invested a great deal of time, effort and even money is situationships that proved to be fruitless.”

 

How long does a situationship usually last?

Situationships can last for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. Just like in other relationships, there’s no expiration date unless one or both of you choose to end the situationship and move on.

Do situationships ever turn into relationships?

Many situationships do go the distance and turn into loving committed relationships. But it can also be an easy way out for someone who wants to keep their options open, who can’t help thinking there might be someone better out there in dating app land.

What are the rules of a situationship?

Don’t try to force things or get too serious too quickly. Keep things light and fun, and enjoy the ride. Honesty is always the best policy, but it’s especially important in a situationship. If you’re not feeling it anymore, it’s better to be honest and upfront about it than to string the other person along. Communication is crucial in any relationship, but even more so in a situationship. Make sure you’re checking in with each other regularly to make sure you’re still on the same page. This can also help avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary drama.
Honesty is always the best policy, but it’s especially important in a situationship. If you’re not feeling it anymore, it’s better to be honest and upfront about it than to string the other person along. This can help avoid hurt feelings and resentment down the line.

 

Sources: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/are-you-situationship-what-it-how-get-out-it-ncna1057141

https://caribbean.loopnews.com/content/5-rules-follow-situationship-3