Emotional Wellbeing

Psychology

Relationships

Mandy Kloppers

7 Important bits of information about life

Working as a psychologist has taught me important information about life. You may already know some of the stuff I am going to tell you. My line of work allows me to identify common patterns in behaviour – from typical problems in relationships to similar experiences that we all have but possibly never talk to each other about.

Here is a definitive list of important information about life that might just ease your stress and/or anxiety:

You’ve got to stop caring about what others think to be truly free

We care far too much about the judgement of others and it keeps us in chains. You can release yourself from that limiting space by rejecting what others think in favour of what you feel is best. The more you do it the easier it becomes.

Stop living inside your head. Too much thinking is dangerous

There is a saying, “When you are in your own mind you are in enemy territory”. This is so true, many of my clients tend to get anxious and depressed when they have too much time on their hands. Get out of your head and into your life. Too much analysis can lead to ‘paralysis’.

Never let others diminish your spirit, If they do, limit your time with them. They can’t be good for your and your emotional well being if they make you feel bad about yourself.

Never compare yourself unfavourably to others – a waste of good energy

No one has a perfect life although countless people will try to convince you of this. It says more about them if they try to portray this flawless image. Usually, it means they have chronic low self-esteem and aren’t at all happy with themselves. People who have healthy acceptance and feel comfy in their own skins are usually very at ease with pointing out their flaws.

Gratitude

It is good to have gratitude though and if that means looking at people worse off than you – go for it. Comparisons in your favour are allowed.

Be yourself, it’s the best boost for your confidence when you show your quirks and others still accept and like you anyway. When you try to someone else to gain approval you send yourself clear messages that you don’t feel good enough as you are. You are good enough – don’t change for anyone.

Make time for fun

Stop taking life so seriously and take time out every now and then. Have a good laugh. Plan something fun. Life doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom. Be an optimist – you really can choose. It doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen but it does mean you will be more aware of your reactions and the fact that you can choose who you wish to respond to and how you wish to interpret what is happening. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you see it. If you catastrophise, it will be overwhelming, if you choose to problem solve with hope, you might feel far less hopeless and distraught.

Nurture your important relationships – keep them close!

All good relationships take effort. In this throw-away society we seem to be constantly seeking the next high. The problem is that these short-lived highs end quickly and you will return to default position – boredom and monotony. It doesn’t have to be that way though. Make time for fun (see the previous paragraph) and watch your attitude to loved ones. It’s so easy to take them for granted and become complacent but I have seen it before – people stop making the effort and lose important relationships. The loss that they sometimes never recover from because they took their eye off the loyal people in their life in their pursuit of money and thrills.

If you have children, make time for each other so that you don’t end up as strangers when the children grow up – this is a very common scenario that I see in my private practice regularly. Tell your special people you love them often, give them cuddles – it’s good for you!

Believe in yourself

If you believe in yourself you are halfway there. Don’t be frightened to fail, be more afraid of never trying. When you believe in yourself, others tend to believe in your more too. Confidence is infectious.

Life will continually throw things at us, but we can learn how to navigate the tricky stuff. Learning to stay centred but using the above tips can help you to stay grounded and sane in a crazy world.

Mandy X