In the event of a death, there is a lot of work to do. One of the most important things you need to take care of is the funeral arrangements. These are not pleasant tasks, and they can be even tougher when you’re grieving. The good news is that there are many things you can do – from planning out the details to finding comfort in others – that will help make this process a little easier for you.
Planning the Funeral
At times like this, you want to be focused on the person and not on the details. However, it is important to make arrangements. For example, you might want to ask questions like: Where will I bury or cremate my loved one? Will there be a wake before or after the funeral? Who will officiate at the service? Who should pay for the funeral services? Who will visit my home to offer condolences? Which commemorative cremation urns should I get?
These are very personal questions, and they can be tough to decide without support. It’s not uncommon for people to feel overwhelmed by these decisions – especially if this is a sudden loss.
These coping strategies may offer some help:
1) Ask for Support
You can ask friends and family for support. Try to get advice from your co-workers, neighbors, or trusted family members about funeral arrangements. Talk about the details with an agent at the funeral home. You will never truly know all this information unless you ask and ask again until you feel comfortable with the answers.
2) Take Breaks
Try taking a break from making decisions. This might include taking a walk or asking a family member to take over. You may want to try these strategies again after a bit of time has passed.
3) Trust Your Gut
At times like this, you must trust your instincts. Do what feels best for you and your family members, even if that means letting others help with the funeral arrangements. Ultimately, what’s most important is helping them ease their grief and move on with their lives as quickly as possible after their loved one dies.
4) Look After Yourself
It’s all too easy to ignore your own needs at a time like this. Make sure that you are taking time for yourself and that you at least try to eat a sensible diet and get some exercise. You might also consider taking some time to acclimate yourself to the changes that have happened. Some people even find it helpful to spend time at a nearby spa or museum.
5) Finding Comfort in Others
Individuals can be especially sensitive during this time and may not want any kind of crowds at the funeral, especially if they feel that there is no way they can ever come back from this loss. So, it’s important to find ways to support those you care about, even if you don’t always know how to help them get through this difficult time.
Talk with others who knew your loved one or spend some time in a public place that is full of memories from your loved one’s life.
In the end, it is important to remember that no matter how many details you might need to take care of, none of them will ever bring back your loved one. The best thing you can do is remind yourself that their life was special and that they will be deeply missed by everyone lucky enough to spend time with them in this world.
If you need help dealing with the loss of a loved one, please consider contacting a health care provider or someone else you trust.
Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash
Author: Mandy Kloppers
Mandy is a qualified therapist who treats depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, trauma, and many other types of mental health issues. She provides online therapy around the world for those needing support and also provides relationship counselling.
